Learning I had breast cancer, only a year after losing my mother to cancer, and 6 months after my daughter had given birth to my grandson and then diagnosed with MS, was the most devastating moment in my life.
I remember leaving the Dr's office and sitting in my car for about an hour, totally unaware of what was going on around me. Having to go home and tell my daughter and son in law, who had come to live with me for comfort and shelter, that I was going to be another burden in the household, was said and done as if it wasn't about me at all.
The invasive tests, the surgery, the chemotherapy and subsequent side effects, and not forgetting of course the radiation - how extremely demoralising that was.
After it all ended, all I heard from people was how "lucky" I had been. I can promise you the furthest thing from my mind was how "lucky" I was. I was angry. Angry that it had happened to me, angry that my life would never be the same again, angry my family had had to go through this and angry that I was now unable to work due to the side effects.
I have come to understand that this was a form of grieving for what I had been and that there was now an opportunity for me to build a new and different life. Five years later, I have married, gained 4 wonderful stepchildren, and am happier than I have ever been in my life. Its all about how you look at it and how you come out of it. Don't let it be the end. Then cancer wins.
Sydney, Australia
