Unfortunately, it's just not my style. I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and I wanted to report that the battle is going well. There have been some casualties, after my first sight of the surgery I was in tears, but I knew that the doctors had done some great work and I needed to focus on healing (hurry up and heal). It's been two weeks since the surgery and I was hoping I would be done healing already.
The doctor removed the threatening lump and found no other cancers in the lymph nodes or the margins of the lump. Now I am recovering and yesterday I was told that I could start chemo on the 18th of February, which would be two months from the day I went for the mammogram and biopsy. But honestly, I wish we had started already, because I feel like I am standing still and waiting. Constantly waiting for results or doctor appointments and it is making me crazy.
I am going to have to pace myself. I keep trying to go on and get back into my routine but I can't risk injuring myself or getting sick now. I always try "not to act sick" (some fatherly advice I was given) so I tend to rush ahead when I feel a little bit better and then I tire myself out. So I need to change my tactics and make a slow and steady march to the finish line instead of my normal erratic zigzag and dart pattern. My husband hates shopping with me because of that pattern.
But I am anxiously waiting for my first chemo appointment so I can figure out how I will react to it and plan accordingly. Then I can figure out what schedule will work best for me. I do realize that the last bit shows I haven't really managed to control my darting and zigzagging philosophy yet, but I am trying.